For My Geography1100 Lab

Yes, I am a senior in a freshman level course, Geography 1100. Bite me. Taking advantage of the simplicity of the class, I have submitted previous assignments reassigning functions of a Latin American copper mine to those related to extra terrestrial life. Furthermore, my poor lab TA endures not only my jokes, but my weekly tardiness. This week's assignment includes writing a short essay speculating on our lives after college and how it will relate to geography. Being the comedian I am, because I am funny, I wrote this shindig and decided to share the laughs with every poor sucker scrolling on Facebook. Enjoy.

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The “Who Will I Be?” Prompt

Hesston, to preface my little chunk of writing, I have truly enjoyed your lab and feel I have the freedom to creatively reflect my thoughts while simultaneously providing a serious answer. I hope you enjoy this as much as my accidental submission of how the aliens coexisted with the humans at a once copper mine. Please enjoy and please do not tank my grade. Cool swag. Also, also, thank you for not being mad at my 5 minute tardiness every Wednesday morning.

I am from Saint Louis. What brought me to Columbia was not the wicked pull-factor of Shakespeare’s Pizza or the all-too-crazy, citywide closing time of 1:00 AM; rather, it was the American education system that allows universities to shake down students at the mere submission of an application, and that’s just for in-state (Or is that just capitalism…?). Not to mention the cost of traveling to-and-fro said uni and my beloved home-base of rampant chlamydia and meth, Saint Louis. A true nursery rhyme of a city, in the sense the community eagerly censors the drawbacks, as if a World Series won seven years ago eradicates the fact we are the second most dangerous city in the United States. Like I said, a nursery rhyme.

I came to Columbia with every intention to complain about my geographical standing. To bitch about attending a second-round of high school and vomiting anytime I was presented with some Sperry Shoe asking “So, what house are you in?”. Participating in the “predominate” culture while reeking of a counterculture-wannabe really helps a freshman make friends. That is not sarcasm, either. With, I swear, half the university population being from Saint Louis, every single one of us carries (or carried) a sense of guilt for taking the perceived “easy route” to “classic Mizzou”. We all had our excuses for our enrollment, “All of my family went to Mizzou” or “I cannot afford to go out-of state”, as if our choice in college defined us as an individual. Like we are not hardworking or we just want to party or we could not get in anywhere else.

This seems to be a theme in society … categorizing people into a stupid hierarchy ….

Based on … what?

We bonded over this guilt and leveled up each other’s complaints. Meeting a student from California or Virginia and reflecting utter shock at their choice in educational institution.

“They must be in the journalism school”

But what I have always (tried to) believe about geography, is that it is not about where you are, but who you are with. I recently lived in Spain for six months - yeah, it was wild. I made great friends who now reside all over the globe, who would welcome my stay at a moment’s notice. My life was a dream where I woke up with no agenda but my own and had absolutely no rules. Spain is anarchic.

My perception in my current midwestern status shifted after my European venture. No, I did not miss America, did not miss the food, entertainment, friends, family, and no, I do not necessarily think Europe is better. Comparing and contrasting I think just adds to toxic nationalism - why is it so difficult to just take something as it is, different?

My shift arose out of necessity. Reverse-culture shock was not an experience I was willing to endure. Not to mention, my previous environment was riddled in triggers for anxiety and panic attacks, feelings that returned like after-shock in the moments I recalled my life in America. My shift arose out of the learned habit to be in the present moment. I am different from the person of yesterday, I am different from the person of two minutes ago. All I am is now.

To attempt and explain my life in five years is ignorant. To tell you tomorrow’s agenda is volatile. Rather than subscribing to a linear timeline of my life, I have experiences to enjoy, knowledge to be learned and a lifetime to do it all.

Whether I am (in a linear measurement) 65 years old learning to surf or mastering the art of the waves immediately after graduation, who knows. What I do know is that I will continue to evolve and be the exact person I have always desired. I will continue to put myself first so I may be available for others to lean on. I will continue to learn through experience, travel and sometimes in a classroom. When I am exactly and unforgivingly myself, I can create my community anywhere. I plan to live abroad and expect nights where I will crash on the couches of kind strangers or on a random beach. When a city lures my heart to stay awhile, I will find my community.

Geography is important for my exploration, but is irrelevant for my happiness.

In my linear lifetime, I will learn Sanskrit, I will learn to belly dance, I will surf in Oceania, ski in the Alps, become a published writer, see a jaguar, meet my partner in crime, complete yoga teacher training, become a holistic chiropractor, hold a handstand for five minutes, shave my head, have kids, complain about said kids, I will have at least 100 plants, save a forest, connect to others, learn to play the bongos, transcend reality, own a gong and most importantly, I will be happy.